Sunday Wrap-Up

Hi gang!  Here are a few items to close out the week:

Hollywood is in the process of making a feature film version of Dark Shadows.  Rumored to be playing Barnabas?  Johnny Depp.  I swear, this year just gets more and more nuts.  The real question, of course, is who will play Angelique?

B&B's raid of Y&R's talent attic continues.  This week's Soap Opera Digest reports that Heather Tom, last seen as Kelly on OLTL, will be joining the show as Brooke's younger sister, Katie Logan.  Tom is, of course, best known for playing Victoria Newman on Y&R.  Can't wait for those, "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere" scenes between her and Ashley.

Speaking of Soap Opera Digest, Carolyn Hinsey used her 7/31 column to put Soapnet on blast.  She criticizes the network for pulling AW with no warning, pointing out that she works at two soap magazines, yet the first she heard about it was from angry e-mailers.

Hinsey writes: "What is happening at SOAPnet?  Our beloved soap cable channel is filling up with lame reality shows, which risks alienating longtime soap fans.  And once you lose them, you're done...There's no room for AW, but there's room for reality programming about wannabe soap stars and fashionistas?"

Of course, Hinsey is right.  It just boggles the mind that an organization devoted to soaps would start giving us lame reality shows.  What on earth would give them the idea that's what soap viewers want to see?

Oh.

Speaking of Soapnet, (man, the segues are coming tonight), Soapnet sent out a press release discussing the ratings for episode 2 of GH: Night Shift.  The show received 372, 000 viewers in the female 18-49 demographic, off from 498,000 viewers in the premiere week.  That's a loss of a mere 25 percent.  The show still ranked number 2...in its timeslot...among basic cable networks...in that demographic.  Only a rerun of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit did better.  Well, that's understandable.  It's very rare to catch Law and Order or one of its spinoffs on TV these days.  They're almost as hard to find as CSI.  As for total viewers, after reaching a million viewers with its first show, the second episode's total audience was...well, let's see....hey, I know it's gotta be here somewhere...(shakes paper)...(breaks out magnifying glass)...nope, it's not here!  You know what probably happened?  Night Shift's total audience was probably so big, that they left it out of the press release, so the other networks wouldn't be embarassed.  That's how they roll at Disney.

I didn't watch episode three of Night Shift, but I understand the big development is that there's a serial killer in the hospital.  First victim? 

Pat Crawford Brown.  I KNEW they couldn't afford her!  For a long, painful recap of the episode, visit Serial Drama.  for a short painful recap, read the last two paragraphs of Marlena's column this week.

Speaking of Marlena, she devotes most of this week's column to reviving her call to ban soap catfights:

I feel even more strongly about banning catfights now, as soaps and the women on them continue to lose their dignity in so many ways. In real life, cat fights are disgusting, and it's unacceptable for women to attack other women physically. In this nasty world, women should at least have respect for one another.

Marlena was triggered by the Carly/Sam catfight on Wednesday's GH.  She hints that scenes like that one may be motivated by ratings-hungry shows desperate for attention.  I completely agree.  It's a shame to see what has happened to a once classy and literate genre.  It's disgraceful what these shows feel they have to do just to get a rating and some attention.  Personally, I am thankful that that I have such a classy blog like this one, with such classy readers like you, who would never be interested in watching such sad stunts like this.  However, I feel that in the interest of educating the public as to what's really going on with these daytime dramas, I have to show you what happened, so you'll be properly outraged. 

Remember, this is strictly for educational purposes:

Tsk, tsk. Shameful.

Awful.  Just awful.

Nothing but an attempt to grab the lowest common denominator.  Sickening.

Something must be done about television violence.

I'm gonna need a shower after viewing this filth.

Wow.  That was just awful.  I'm sorry I had to subject you to that, but sometimes we have to see these things up close and personal.  Now that you've seen for yourself, I hope you'll--

Oh no!  What's he doing here?  It's a catfight, man, not a dog fight!  You see what kind of demographic soaps are attracting?  Terrible.

I'm going to take a shower now and cleanse myself of this disgusting daytime filth.  You all have a nice evening, and we'll see what mischief we can get into next week.