Sweeping Up Sweeps: General Hospital
SWEEPING UP SWEEPS: GH
It was all about Laura. And not just because ABC promoted it that way. But, because everything else paled in comparison.
In terms of storyline, it went like this: Laura had spent the past four years in a catatonic state after suffering a nervous breakdown caused by killing her stepfather. Suddenly, Luke was given the option of using an experimental drug on Laura that could bring her out of her state, if only temporarily. Would Luke risk bringing the love of his life back, only for a fleeting moment, then face the devastation of losing her all over again?
Of course he would. (Wouldn't have a story if he didn't.) And of course Laura came out of her state. (Ditto.) The catch was that Laura didn't remember the events that immediately preceded her breakdown, i.e., killing Rick. Luke decided to keep that from her. He also decided to keep from her the fact that her return to mental health was temporary. And the fact that he was married to Tracy.
All of that would have caused heartache, you see. And why spend so much time worrying about these things when you have so little time to start with? Why not give his Laura, his family, and his self the happiest time possible? Because while Luke thought he was protecting Laura, of course he was really protecting himself. As was apparent in the scens where Laura did remember killing Rick, Laura was a lot stronger than Luke gave her credit for. She always was.
In many ways, the situation mirrored the viewers real-life relationship with GH. Luke entered into this ludicrous situation knowing his time with Laura would be short--and so did we. But we took it because we knew with Laura would come all the good things that had been missing. Things like love, family, genunine emotion, truth, justice, and yes, even the American way.
Luke and Laura's re-wedding, the centerpiece of ABC's promotional campaign, was nothing more than an anti-climactic attempt to ride the coattails of the most famous wedding in TV history. It was the least interesting part of Genie Francis' return. The real drama came after the wedding, as Laura began to realize that her recovery might not be as permanent as she thought:
Laura: You said, "Are you still with me?" -- As if you were expecting me to slip away. Luke, this miraculous recovery of mine isn't going to last, is it?Luke: No. At first I was afraid that the drug would work, because I didn't -- I didn't want to put you through this experiment. I was afraid, but I was more afraid that it wouldn't work. And then I flipped back again when the doctors told me what to expect.
Laura: And what is that?
Luke: You will start to forget things, lose time. A little bit here and there, but continually until we're back where we started.
Laura: No, no. That can't be true. I can fight it. I can't do that again! I can fight it! Come on, let's call Robin right now.
Luke: Sweetheart, there's nothing that can be done.
Laura: You've given up on me?
Luke: No, never, never. I'm just -- I'm telling you the facts, Laura. Your prognosis has changed. This thing, this "psychomotor disassociation" they call it, it -- this condition started as an emotional condition, and now it's become a physical one and they can't operate. And they can't turn it around.
Laura: But the medication worked.
Luke: The medication was a big risk. But it was always a temporary fix.
Laura: But -- but I -- I disassociated because I couldn't remember that -- that I killed my stepfather. And I have remembered now. So doesn't that just negate everything?
Luke: I'm so sorry....
Laura: I -- I did lose a little bit of time when I was out in the rose garden. And when I came back inside to get dressed for the wedding, I got lost in the hallway -- one that I've walked through a hundred times. And -- and I've been forgetting things that people say to me just a few minutes earlier. I've known, Luke. I feel something trying to drag me under. It's like quicksand.
How long do I have?
Luke: I don't know. Not long.
Laura: How long have you known about this?
Luke: Since before they administered the drug. It was one of the things I had to consider. I knew when you looked at me with recognition in your eyes for the first time in four years. I knew when you held your children, when you asked me to marry you. The only thing I haven't known is whether it was the right thing to do. I told myself I was doing it for the kids, and then I told myself I was doing it for you. But the truth is I'm a selfish bastard, Laura. I did this for me. I wanted you back. I need you. I'm lost without you!
Laura: No, you're not. You're not.
Luke: Maybe I should've just -- maybe I should've just let it go. And, look, what -- what would you do if somebody told you that they could give you time with the person that you love more than life but that time is brief? What would you do?
Laura: I would do exactly the same thing -- with one exception. I think I would've told you from the start how it would end.
Now that Laura knew it was coming to an end, she joined Luke in getting the most out of the time she had left. Laura declared that she wanted to spend one last Christmas with her family. The Spencer clan now aware of Laura's impending fate, agreed. Because, let's face it, Christmas is so much better than Thanksgiving.* The house was decorated, gifts were bought, and Luke stole a tree from the Quartermaine grounds, where he ran into Tracy:
Luke: Laura wants to trim a tree.
Tracy: So you're cutting down one of mine?
Luke: It's one tree, Tracy. Let it go.
Tracy: You know what? I've been more than generous today, and that woman does not get one more thing that belongs to me. I mean it, luke. Step away from the tree, or I will fill your butt with buckshot.
Luke: I don't have time for your hysterics. I have to get back to my wife. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded.
Tracy: Well, you made yourself perfectly clear. Your wife is waiting, so you can't waste any more time with me -- your wife.
Luke: That's the point, tracy -- there is no more time. It's happening. She's relapsing. There's nothing I can do but this.
Tracy: What, cut down a tree?
Luke: She wants to have one last Christmas with her kids. It's all she wants.
Tracy: Have at it. Don't let me stand in your way.
Luke: Spanky? I didn't mean to hurt you.
Tracy: You know, the ability to hurt someone is directly related to the amount you care. Clearly, mine is a small level of caring -- next to the deep and abiding love you feel for Laura.
Tracy Quartermaine, professional whiner, has been the one false note in this whole thing. While I can believe that the two are amused by each other, the idea that Tracy has some deep love for Luke, and his wanting to be with Laura is tearing her heart out is taking things a hair too far. It's not much better than Heather Webber's unfortunate return a couple of years back. Give Tracy something real to do, please.
Meanwhile, Laura was sharing memories with Lulu about the events leading up to her birth. That led lulu to reveal what SHE was trying to protect Laura from:
Laura: I'm your mother, Lulu. There's nothing you can't tell me.
Lulu: I want us to enjoy the time that we have left. You should be happy.
Laura: I can't be when I know that you're this unhappy. What I want is to try to be the mother that you really need right now. Please, give me the chance to help you.
Lulu: You -- you can't. There's nothing that anybody can do.
Laura: How do you know that?
Lulu: Because what I did can't be taken back.
[Lulu sighs]
Lulu: Over summer, I fell in love with Dillon Quartermaine, Tracy's son, and he was with Georgie.
Laura: Georgie Jones?
Lulu: Yes, and I lied and said that I saw Georgie sleeping with someone else because I wanted him to break up with her, and he did.
Laura: Oh. Did the truth ever come out?
Lulu: Yeah. Dillon hated me for it, and I don't blame him.
Laura: Oh, Lulu. You know, we all make mistakes. You know, it is too late for you to take back that lie now, but it's not too late for you to try to make up for it.
Lulu: Um, it wasn't just the lie. I got pregnant, and Dillon didn't love me. And I knew I didn't want to be a mom for a lot of reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to have a child that wasn't wanted like I thought [I wasn't wanted].
Laura: Oh, Lulu --
Lulu: But now you're telling me that that's not true and I was wanted, and --
Laura: Oh, Lulu --
Lulu: I had an abortion. I'm --
Laura: Oh, Lulu. Oh. Oh, my girl.
Laura: I'm so sorry. It's ok. Come on, now, sit down. Sit down. That's my girl. Oh, I can't imagine how hard that must've been, to struggle with a decision like that. I feel horrible that I wasn't here to help you through that. Oh, my girl.
Lulu: Do you hate me?
Laura: What? How could you ever say that?
Lulu: Because I know how much you love kids, and I didn't -- I didn't keep mine.
Laura: Oh. Oh, lulu. I could never hate you. You are my only daughter, and I cherish you. And if you weren't ready to be a mother, then I respect the choice you made. I just -- I feel horrible that I wasn't here to hold your hand and support you through that.
Lulu: I went to see you in Shadybrook, and I wanted you to come back and tell me what to do. Will you be honest with me? Um --
Laura: Yes.
Lulu: If you could've answered, what would you have said? Honestly.
Laura: I would have said that that's something that only you can decide for yourself. And whatever choice you made, I love you and I support you, and I always will. My little girl.
Next to Geary himself, Julie Marie Berman (Lulu) was the best partner Francis had during the reunion. When the time came for Laura to say goodbye to her family and return to life in Shadybrook, the two had another killer scene:
Laura: I'm sure that everybody tells you that you look like me, Huh? Although, I'm sure I was never as beautiful.
Lulu: You are still the most beautiful woman in the world, mom.
Laura: Oh, when I look at you, I see your father. Hmm -- smart, feisty, resourceful, rebellious -- hmm -- ready to take risks. But, Lulu, you are always protecting your heart.
Lulu: It's gotten me into a lot of messes.
Laura: Hmm. I'm glad you know that about yourself.
Lulu: There have been so many times that I needed to talk to you, where if I could just get your advice, I'd know that everything would be ok.
Laura: You got shortchanged, Lulu. I'm sorry. But you are a survivor. You are, so you believe in yourself. And, Lulu, this is important. When the time comes for you to fall in love, don't be afraid. You go for it.
Lulu: I'll try.
Laura: Good girl.
And then, a curveball:
Lulu: Mom? Mom? Mom?
Laura: I'm -- I'm not slipping, I'm not. I'm trying to decide --
Lulu: Decide what?
Laura: I didn't want to tell your father this because I didn't want to upset him. I think he believes that I -- I killed my father out of self-defense, but something just doesn't ring true. I -- I think I'm innocent.
Lulu: Don't worry, mom. I'll prove that you're innocent.
Laura: Thank you.
Lulu: I love you.
Laura: I love you.
Are they going to find a way to untarnish Laura's image? Hopefully the cure won't be worse than the disease, i.e., Michael killing A.J.
Then, it was time for Laura to say goodbye to Luke:
Luke: Sweetheart -- laura, come back. Laura, come back. Oh.
Laura: Luke.
Luke: I want to say something to you, and i don't even know what. I wish I could express how amazing the life that we have together has been for me. But it's impossible. All I have is my love. It's all I ever had. And our love -- it's the only thing I've ever valued. I love you, Laura. I love you, and I always will.
Laura: I love you. I want to stay with you. Oh. But if -- if I can't -- uh -- can't see where I'm going, but I know it's beautiful. Oh, nothing's as beautiful as looking in your eyes and knowing that we love each other, and always will.
Luke: Always.
Then she was gone. A devastated Luke left the room, weeping, and I almost wept right along with him. Whoever wrote these episodes should go into infomerciials, because a better pitch i have never seen. The pitch of course was for Laura to return full time, and make the Spencers whole again. And I was right there, feeling the joy and the sorrow, being taken in by every emotionally manipulative scene, screaming "Do it, GH! Find that money! Bring Laura home, you bastards!"
And then there was other stuff. The other main plot of sweeps involved Ric going after Jason and Sam because--oh heck, I don't know, I fast-forwarded most of that crap. All the mob people ran around like idiots and a car blew up and Jason got shot for the 453rd time and was presumed dead again.
This cast a shadow on the Quartermaines. For once, a perfectly prepared Thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings awaited, but the family was too depressed to eat it, because Jason, the mob-owned thug who barely acknowledges his family was dead. In an odd switch, Emily, Jason's number one cheerleader (now that Lila's dead), couldn't believe the family was going to let the food go to waste, and unilaterally decided to give it away. Well, gee, Emily, maybe I would have wanted it tomorrow! Then Nikolas showed up and announced that Laura was slipping away again, which brough endless amounts of empathy from Emily. Boy, she wants back in the drawers bad. You could see Tyler Cristopher's heart sinking in these scenes. After a few weeks of sinking his teeth into scenes that actually matter, it's back to no-chemistry Sally and psycho nanny and psycho granny. I felt bad for the guy.
I did not feel bad for Alcazar, whose worthless son got killed as part of mob wars 72. There was this unintentionally hilarious exchange with mac, though:
Mac: What was your son doing in that warehouse/
Alcazar: He was getting murdered!
Ha! It's funny cause it's true. Alcazar is a thug, who, like all thugs on GH, has outlived his usefulness, and Ted King would be better off elsewhere. Next to the real tragedy of the Spencer clan, Alcazar's emoting over the loss of a son he helped get killed was even more insignificant than it otherwise would be.
NOV. Grade
Spencers: A-
Everything else: Z-
Thanks to TV Mega Site for providing transcripts for each of the daytime dramas.
*Save the hate mail, you know it's true.
hey you won't have any complaints from me about it.
I agree, Luke and Laura were the most watchable thing on GH in quite a
number of years. I also agree about Ted King, I wish he never left Charmed
as Andy.
Thank you, WD. (Do you mind if I call you WD?) I thought Tatum O' Neal
would be enough, but seeing MoBo one last time was enough to flow my tears
all over again. Hey! Flow my tears. Sounds like a good title for a song.
That "Flow My Tears" song is pretty damned cool. Mr. Parnell belted that
out like nobody I've ever heard!!! Lots of music on the SnarkCast, it
seems.
Tracy Quartermaine, professional whiner? You've got Tracy mixed up with
Luke's daughter Lulu, or better yet, her mother, Laura.